6 Mindset Shifts For A Peaceful Holiday Meal With Family
What is it about Thanksgiving that causes us to feel… apprehension? existential dread? pre-emptive misery?
Even with the best intentions, we often walk away from family "festivities" feeling energy-depleted and asking ourselves WHY we invited toxic thinking into our realm of joy and inner peace.
(Yes, even our DNA/relatives can disconnect us from what we hold most dear: our power, our energy, and the sovereignty of our boundaries.)
As you prepare for YOUR Thanksgiving feast this November, I invite you to take along these 6 mindset shifts:
Love People Where They Are
Love is a very powerful emotion and can be considered both a noun and a verb. When we consciously choose to embody love, we elevate the energy of a room (and within a group of people) - even if those people are not very loveable.
Because GRACE is love! And LOVE shows grace.
Before gathering for a Thanksgiving meal, I encourage you to CLAIM the core value you want to embody. (This can be anything from generosity to curiosity to patience to kindness.) That way you have a greater chance of embodying LOVE and integrity.
“Not my circus, not my monkeys”
If you and your family have somewhat (or very) different viewpoints, you have the CHOICE to strategically separate your circus and monkeys from their circus and monkeys. Whether it’s politics, religion, or giblets in the gravy: You can separate your opinion from theirs to hold each of you accountable to your highest integrity selves.
Wisdom is knowing when to speak up… and when to be silent.
This mindset is a healthy way to set boundaries and avoid getting overwhelmed by the negative energy of others' emotional triggers. Give people their space and hold your own with reverence.
Let Go of Situations Outside Your Control
Worrying about things you do not have control over will not change the situation. (Remember: Not my circus, not my monkeys!)
Take inventory of what you do and do not have control over before you gather for Thanksgiving. For example, you can choose whether you eat the giblet-infused gravy! You cannot control another person’s emotions, expectations, or political views.
If something is within your control, you can impact it. But with things outside your control, give yourself permission to let go and allow things to unfold as they may. Your calm and collected mindset might just elevate the energy of the room!
Be the Beacon for Positivity
Positivity is infectious. When you’re surrounded by people, places, or things that make you feel safe or taken care of, you will be in a better position to be happy and light-hearted in the moment.
For example: Instead of sitting quietly when the first verbal bomb is dropped at the dinner table, be the one to remind your family that the reason you’ve gathered together is to celebrate what is… not what isn't.
Be kind. Listen. Get curious.
YOU may be the bright light that shifts the negative trend to a positive one.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is often WAY more complicated than it sounds. Get comfortable taking a deep breath, and then practice saying a kind-but-clear, "No, Thank you."
Know that you have the right NOT to engage in conversations that increase your level of stress.
Plus, saying “NO” doesn’t have to be confrontational. It’s more like gracefully holding a solid boundary (which may even open the door to a more expansive conversation!)
Be Willing to Remove Yourself
If worse comes to worse, you have the power and the right to remove yourself from toxic environments. This might be as simple as excusing yourself to help with the dishes, stepping outside, or even calling it an early night.
You can certainly voice your concerns if the atmosphere is feeling charged. You might agree to disagree, gracefully change the topic of conversation, or walk away from a disagreement.
Remember: You’re not giving an ultimatum. You’re simply caring for your own circus and monkeys (and trusting other people to do the same!)
When we approach holiday celebrations with more thought and greater consciousness, we set ourselves up for more ease, flow, and joy. (That’s the premise of the Name, Claim, and Reframe®.)
As you prepare for your family feast this November, I invite you to think of it as a way to practice Self-Sovereignty—you can choose to take care of yourself before you take care of everyone else.
Wishing you a higher frequency of PEACE, LOVE, and JOY this Thanksgiving!
Until next time,
💫 Andrea
P.S. Whenever you're ready to take the next steps along YOUR path to a well-lived life, I've got a handful of resources to help -
#1 Get on the waiting list for future NCR offerings that will help you practice and implement the Name, Claim & Reframe Method - one step at a time!
#2. Buy your copy of my best-selling book: Name, Claim & Reframe. Learn how to align with your divine feminine ingenuity with my 3-step strategy that will help you gracefully navigate your path to a well-lived life.
#3. Order the *new* Name, Claim & Reframe Workbook! Learn how to model resourceful, strategic, and graceful leadership by elevating the energy frequency of the room with the NCR Workbook - including practical tools you can implement right now.
Take my quiz and find out: What is your leading leadership energy?
