Saying YES when you mean NO
As this graphic from my book, Name, Claim & Reframe-Your Path to a Well-Lived Life,
illustrates, when core value boundaries are threatened, so are the borders of your energetic boundaries… and more importantly, your precious internal energy reserves.
This is why saying a reluctant “Yes,” when you really mean “HELL NO!” takes such an emotional toll.
So, how do we create energy boundaries with above the line behavior, despite how other people in our orbit are acting (or rather reacting)?
The Energy of Balance
When we're unbalanced, we feel out of control: pressured, stressed, taxed, drained, uneasy, anxious, depressed. When we're balanced, we feel in control: confident, at ease, in-flow, peaceful, and even relaxed.
Both experiences create an inner-state of being: one mindset feeds us, and the other mindset depletes us.
At the end of the day, we're not just looking to achieve balance… we're looking to experience positive energy that makes us feel bright, vital, and on-point.
The only way to experience true balance is to become aware of what gives you energy and what drains you of energy.
Here’s a few ways I teach my clients how to explores this (from my upcoming Name, Claim & Reframe Workbook, releasing April 2024):
Reflect of a situation in your life (past or present) that has the potential to deplete your internal energy reserves and possibly conjure a below the line reaction or wounded response on your end.
What energetic boundaries (i.e., saying a kind but clear no thank you, sleeping on your response, detachment from the outcome) could be put into place so you can respond with an above the line response despite how people in your environment might be reacting?
Saying "NO" is an ideal opportunity to CLAIM your core values, establish energy boundaries, and preserve your internal energy reserves.
But until you learn to say a kind-but-clear “No thank you”, you will continue to be overwhelmed with too much to do and too little time.
Here’s a quick list to help shift your mindset next time you’re tempted to say “Yes”, when you really want to say, “No!”
It’s okay to say NO…
When you're stressed or overwhelmed.
When you're already doing too much.
When you're tired or sick.
When it's someone else's issue.
When you feel taken for granted
When it's something you don't want to do.
When there's something you'd MUCH rather do.
When it steps on your values and boundaries.
When you deserve or need some time to yourself.
Being clear about core values will help you make informed decisions about what you want… and what you DON’T want.
This is how you can keep what’s important to you sacred, like your precious internal energy reserves!
Choosing to Name, Claim and Reframe® your mindset is about taking your power back resourcefully, strategically and gracefully: Responding to life’s little plot twists instead of reacting to them.
Until next time,
Andrea
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