Ever been ghosted?
We’ve all been ghosted… by a romantic partner, a business alliance, even a prospective employer.
If you’re like me, NOT hearing back from someone can send the voice of your inner critic down a rabbit hole of despair.
Ghosting is a relatively new colloquial term that refers to someone abruptly cutting off contact without explanation or simply not responding back.
This metaphor of being ghosted fits, because it involves someone essentially “vanishing” into thin air like a ghost, which leaves you trying to initiate contact or gain closure through the ambiguity of silence.
We’ve all been ghosted, and it feels rotten, right?
But life is too short to give your power away to circumstances that are clearly out of your control - like other people’s issues that (most likely) have NOTHING to do with YOU.
Here’s 3 ways you can strategically Reframe your mindset when you don’t hear back -
REFRAME #1: They’re busy.
No response could simply mean that the person you’re trying to contact is preoccupied with the things (i.e. the people and the pressures that are swirling around their own life). This is very possible, particularly in our busy world! So don’t take it personally. Give the other person time and space to catch their breath.
REFRAME #2: They don’t know how to respond.
Certain situations need time to curate a response. The “crickets” that you’re experiencing might be due to the other person processing a respectful way to say, “No thank you,” or just to think of how to craft an eloquent response to your query. Sometimes people need time to sleep on their answer or sift and sort through their options. Give them space to get clear about how to respond.
REFRAME #3: They’re simply not interested.
This one often stings the most. Whether it’s a personal or business exchange, when you don’t get a response, it’s easy to get hooked into believing that you’re being disrespected and/or undervalued.
But not everyone is going to want your friendship or your business alliance! Let go of your need to be seen by this person. Their indifference is NOT worth your precious energy. When you separate your ego from their response, you release your need for another person’s approval, which gives you the time and space to take your power back gracefully and resourcefully: You can Reframe their “No” response as a quiet-but-clear “No, thank you.”
Now the ULTIMATE Reframe: What do you do when YOU are the one who isn’t responding?
Do you have the right to ghost someone? In my humble opinion (and remember… don’t give other people’s opinions too much power!) - no one can make you respond to something you don’t want to respond to.
By choosing not to respond, you’re sending a powerful message that cannot be ignored: You’re ending the conversation. The other person has no choice but to change the topic or give up on contacting you altogether.
Although no one should use their power to hurt another, if someone is tromping on one of your core values, choosing not to respond is a great way to create an energetic boundary.
Either way, congratulations! You now have a solid strategy to Reframe your mindset next time you don’t hear back.
Until next time,
Andrea
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